I was introduced to a new word last week, and it spoke to me deeply, so I want to share about it here. The word is “f*ckery.”

The context? I was sitting in a Brainspotting session with my teacher, Mari, the first day into a week-long intensive training retreat.

(Quick info-dump if you’re new to Brainspotting - it’s a nervous system healing modality that uses fixed eye positions, or “Brainspots,” to process trauma, grief, & stress held in the body. As a Brainspotting practitioner, it’s important for me to receive my own Brainspotting sessions so that I can facilitate this work for my clients. The idea is that we can only be with others so far as we are willing to go in ourselves.)

Seated in a semi-circle, 10 of my peers (all healing practitioners) held space for me as I processed on a Brainspot. As I shared the impact of living through these times of collective grief & injustice, my teacher acknowledged this “f*ckery” and asked me: “Where do you feel the f*ckery in your body?”

My body felt the answer before my mouth was even forming the words: “In my heart.”

The rest of the session unfolded with me being aware of my heart, my eyes fixed on a Brainspot as a sea of sensations moved through my nervous system. The nervous system of every other person in the room held my experience with me, silently & lovingly.

Like every other Brainspotting session that I’ve either facilitated or received, the point was not to “fix” anything.

In Brainspotting (and in all nervous system healing), there is no agenda. There is no right or wrong way to participate in the process of your own nervous system. The invitation is to simply be with what is happening — without judgment, without pressure to change anything.

In simply being with our experience, being witnessed by a safe presence or in safe community, our nervous systems have the opportunity to exhale, ground, re-organize… and expand in capacity.

This is what each of our nervous systems are designed to do, when offered the right support & space to be as we are.

Oh, and that word, f*ckery, has stayed with me, as a way to describe the systemic injustices & chaos we are living through (and importantly, organizing & resisting against). With roots in Jamaican Creole, the word is defined as follows:

noun [fuhk-uh-ree]

1. behaviors, circumstances, and situations, that are nonsensical, foolish, or contemptible
2. bullsh*t with an element of gaslighting; i.e., when someone tells a blatant lie and you know they’re lying, and they know you know they’re lying, and you know they know you know they’re lying, but they stick with the lie
3. injustice

Coming out of my Brainspotting intensive, I’m reminded of the power of collective care as an antidote to the f*ckery.

To be witnessed in community is medicine (albeit an unfamiliar medicine for many of us raised in individualistic Western culture).

To name what is happening — in our own nervous systems, in the world we live in today — is to speak truth, which is its own form of power.

To expect ourselves to heal in isolation, in absence of community, is like asking a tree to grow without sun, without air, without water or ground to hold it. It’s an impossible ask.

All the self-care in the world can’t heal a wound that is collective in nature — the wounds of colonization, white supremacy, patriarchy, systemic oppression.

🌏 Collective healing happens when we remember that we have each other, and that the safety & liberation of all beings are interconnected. Together, we are so much more powerful than the systems that perpetuate the f*ckery. A better world is possible when we participate in its creation.

My hope is that we will always remember to take care of each other.

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As a final note, I’m happy to share that the first episode of my podcast, Nervous System Care & Healing, is live. 💓

It’s called Nervous System Regulation: Why Self-Care & Collective Care Matter. If you enjoy listening & learning through auditory processing, I’d love for you to check it out (or share with someone who might need it).

To our collective healing,

P.S. Know someone who needs to hear this? Forward it along. New readers can subscribe ​here​.

P.P.S. If you’re interested in working together, here are a couple options.

🌻 For folks who are overwhelmed & burnt out, but too busy for weekly therapy, I offer Nervous System Healing Intensives​ — three 90-minute sessions, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, IFS, EMDR) that go deeper than talk therapy & help you feel better, sooner.

Intensives are a type of short-term, accelerated therapy — for folks who prefer a hyper-focused approach to healing; who need longer than 50-min sessions to warm up & process deeply. Our three 90-minute sessions are scheduled across 1-2 weeks.

👉🏽 If you want to get an Intensive on the books, click here to book an intro call.

🌻 If you’d like to book me for a speaking engagement or workshop, submit an inquiry form here.

I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.

💗 Need a nervous system reset? —> Join me for a Calm Place meditation.
📚 Curious to learn about neurodiversity + holistic healing? —> Peek at my blog.
🗞️ Want to catch up on old newsletters? —> Check out the archive.

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