👉🏽 Subscribe for thoughtful, bite-sized emails — from Liz Zhou, a neurodivergent therapist — on how to take care of your nervous system & understand your brain.
When a small accommodation makes a big difference
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This is a story about unmasking. Last fall, I visited my friend in New York City. Knowing that the place would be loud and overstimulating, I made sure to bring my earplugs. My earplugs are designed to block out noise. When I wear them, I still hear everything, but sounds are muffled as if I’m half underwater, half on earth. The earplugs allow me to participate in conversations & stay aware of my surroundings, with minimal auditory overwhelm. It’s like they stretch the battery life of my nervous system — so instead of having to head home after an hour of hanging out at a loud venue, I can linger for 2-3 hours and actually enjoy my time there. ​ One night, we had dinner at an awesome, but fairly loud, restaurant. My friend snapped a photo of me, and I happened to be wearing my earplugs. Then he invited me to take my earplugs off, so I could get a “normal” photo. This is what we ended up with. Looking back, I love both photos. They memorialize a sweet moment in time. But the more unmasked version of me is definitely the photo with earplugs on, because that’s how I actually look in public most of the time. Those earplugs have accompanied me to busy cafés, on plane rides, and even to a rave (!!). They’re one of the best investments & accommodations I’ve ever made for my nervous system health. ​ Choosing to be seen with earplugs on is one small example of unmasking. Because why pretend that I don’t need them, when I actually do? ​ There are lots of different ways to unmask, and a lot of reasons why we choose to mask or unmask. I don’t believe there’s a right or wrong way — only your way, and your choice, in this moment. And in the fairly low-stakes example of wearing my earplugs in public, I choose my own comfort & sensory peace over the potential discomfort of receiving some weird looks from strangers. So, I’m curious… What is one way you’re unmasking & accommodating your needs today? ​ Talk soon, ​ P.S. If you need help figuring out how to unmask & accommodate your needs, I’d love to support you. I offer Nervous System Healing Intensives (short-term, accelerated work) for highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults, online worldwide. Click HERE to learn more. And if you want to get an Intensive on the books, contact me HERE. I’m scheduling Intensives for June 2025 & beyond. ​
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​Liz's Neurodivergent Letters
👉🏽 Subscribe for thoughtful, bite-sized emails — from Liz Zhou, a neurodivergent therapist — on how to take care of your nervous system & understand your brain.
Would you rather… have a one-on-one hang out with a close friend, or attend a big party next Friday night? spend 1 hour watching entertaining TikTok videos, or diving into a book from your favorite genre? jam out to your favorite same song on repeat, or set your playlist on shuffle and go with the flow? There’s no right or wrong answer. Rather, your answers might reveal whether you prefer horizontal or vertical experiences. Let me explain. Vertical experiences are like digging a hole in the...
“It’s too quiet here,” one of my college dorm mates is saying. “I couldn’t even sleep last night.” It’s our second day attending college in middle-of-nowhere, Vermont, and we’re still acclimating to our new rural environment. Half-unpacked suitcases lay in our half-decorated rooms. Everyone is still learning each other’s names and how to not get lost on the way to the bathroom. My dorm mate explains that, having grown up in a big city, they aren’t used to pitch-black nights, where you’re more...
My friend’s mouth is moving and sounds are coming out, but my brain is comprehending about 50% of it. Inside, I’m scrambling. What are we talking about? How should I respond? Then it hits me. “Wait,” I say. “Can we turn off that fluorescent light?” We’re sitting in my living room, and it’s occurred to me that the lights are way too bright. Bright enough to give me a headache. We turn off the fluorescents and replace it with a calmer blue lighting. Ahhh. My nervous system immediately sighs...