Recently, I brought my newly adopted dogs, Toto and Didi, to their first vet appointment. Since they’re anxious beings, still adjusting to the rhythms of our home, I wanted to find a vet that would treat them with the care & patience that they need.

That’s how I ended up at a “fear-free” vet clinic, which emphasizes “stress-free visits that put your pet at ease.”

The way the vet interacted with our dogs reminded me what it means to take care of the nervous system - whether animal or human.

Here’s what their fear-free approach looked like:

• They spoke in soft, gentle voices, and didn’t force the dogs to interact right away. Instead, they let the dogs approach and sniff them on their terms.
• Though the dogs were supposed to receive vaccine shots that day, the vet told us - after a thorough meet & greet - “I can tell that they’re nervous, and it’s taking everything they have to just be here & be petted by me. While they’re small enough that it would be easy to overpower them and get the shots done, I don’t want them to associate this place with fear & force. So let’s pause for today and bring them back another day to finish the shots.”

The vet prescribed anti-anxiety medication for us to administer to the dogs before their next appointment, to help calm their nerves & ensure a successful second visit.

This fear-free approach struck me as totally different from the brute-force approach I’d seen used with my other pets, at our previous vet clinic.

But it makes so much sense, doesn’t it?

🚨 The more you force pets to endure more than their nervous system can actually handle, the more anxiety they’ll experience in the long run, and the more they’ll hate being at the vet.

❤️ Meanwhile, a gentle, titrated approach puts pets at ease, and gradually decreases stress over time.

I appreciated that the vet didn’t force our pets to push past their limits & just “deal with it” or “get over it.”

It made me think about the ways that we, as humans, might push ourselves past our limits, or brute-force our way through experiences, when what we need is gentleness instead.

For example:

⚡️ Maybe you set out to complete a bunch of items on your to-do list, in one day. And maybe you could, technically, get it all done! But it might require you to “power through” & brute-force your way through it all - overriding your body’s need for rest.

💧 Instead of another “power through it” type of day (or week, or month...), maybe what you need is a slower pace, more play & pleasure in your life, and/or external support (from loved ones, team members, or community members who have capacity to lend a helping hand).

⚡️ Maybe you’re invited to a social event and you say yes, out of obligation - knowing that you don’t love these types of events, but telling yourself that you should just “mask & push through it.” However, the stress of masking might cause wear & tear on your nervous system… which could lead to serious burnout if this becomes a repeating pattern.

💧 Instead of another event on your calendar, maybe what you need is permission to say no to things that drain your energy - and yes to a quiet night in with yourself (or whatever brings you joy).

What would life look like if you stopped pushing past your limit, and started treating yourself with gentleness?

I’m glad my dogs got to experience a vet appointment that accommodated their needs, instead of ignoring them.

I hope that, in whatever way is possible in your current context & environment, you get to have experiences that accommodate your needs, and treat you with the care & patience that we all deserve - animals & humans alike.

With care,

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I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.

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