“Is it trauma, or am I neurodivergent?”

This is, hands down, one of the most common questions I hear as a therapist & coach for neurodivergent adults.

There are a lot of reasons why you might be asking this question.

• You’ve always been highly sensitive and can’t figure out if it’s “just your wiring,” or if past experiences made you hypervigilant.
• You struggle with relationships and wonder if it’s because you’re a neurodivergent person trying to fit into neurotypical spaces, or if it’s because your household was dysfunctional and you never learned what healthy relationships are in the first place.
• You get angry about things that don’t seem to bother others — like disruptions in routines, unexpected demands, unclear expectations, acts of injustice — and then you feel crazy because you’re the only one having this reaction. Is this a trauma response? Or one of my neurodivergent traits?

And if you’re thinking, Well, can’t it be BOTH? What if I’m neurodivergent AND impacted by trauma? — you’re absolutely right (and you’re not alone).

So, here’s my answer to the question, “is it trauma, or am I neurodivergent?”

This is not an either-or situation. It’s a both-and.

We live in a world that is inherently stressful & often traumatic for many neurodivergent people (autistic, ADHD, highly sensitive, etc). It is painful to be treated as a different/less than, to be rejected & stigmatized, to have needs ignored, to not be supported or accommodated.

It makes sense that there’s a huge overlap between trauma and neurodivergence. Of course people who are treated poorly by society are more likely to experience emotional & physical health struggles.

And until we build a world that is not inherently stressful for neurodivergent people to exist within, the answer to “is it trauma or am I neurodivergent? (or both?)” will continue to be very complicated.

The point of this isn’t to diagnose anyone, though.

The point is to explain why support for neurodivergent people must be trauma-informed — because so many neurodivergent people have experienced trauma.

And in my work with neurodivergent folks, here’s what I’ve noticed:

• Healing is always possible. Your brain and nervous system always have the capacity to change, build new pathways, and let old ones go.
• The more you heal, the more you might feel safe to unmask and be yourself.
• It is a gift to know yourself — your whole, nuanced, complex self.

So, my invitation for you?

Let yourself be a work in progress. Allow your answer to the question “is it trauma, or am I neurodivergent?” be as complex and nuanced as it needs to be.

Talk soon,

P.S. Interested in working with me 1:1? I offer ​Nervous System Healing Intensives​ (short-term, accelerated support) for highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults, online worldwide. Click ​HERE​ to learn more. And if you want to get an Intensive on the books, contact me ​HERE​.

​ P.P.S. Know someone who needs to hear this? Forward it along. New readers can subscribe ​HERE​.

I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.

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