“It’s too quiet here,” one of my college dorm mates is saying. “I couldn’t even sleep last night.”

It’s our second day attending college in middle-of-nowhere, Vermont, and we’re still acclimating to our new rural environment. Half-unpacked suitcases lay in our half-decorated rooms. Everyone is still learning each other’s names and how to not get lost on the way to the bathroom.

My dorm mate explains that, having grown up in a big city, they aren’t used to pitch-black nights, where you’re more likely to see a shooting star than a skyscraper.

Nor are they used to such eerily quiet nights, devoid of sirens, honking, or the sounds of city life that make them feel at home.

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A few days pass. My dorm mate reports that they’re finally getting some rest — by playing music on their phone & keeping a night light on as they lie in bed. They’ve figured out a way to recreate the conditions they’re used to falling asleep in: gentle background activity, instead of utter nothingness.

As for me? I sleep like a log in the silence of our rural Vermont campus. The lack of stimulation is soothing to me; exactly what my nervous system needs.

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I mention this story because it’s a reminder that each nervous system is uniquely designed.

What’s calming to one person might be overstimulating to another.

The soft lighting & music that allowed my college dorm mate to finally get some rest, would’ve put my entire body on edge.

Meanwhile, the darkness & silence that I crave would have had them tossing & turning for hours.

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There’s no one experience that is universally calming, soothing, or helpful for everyone. That’s okay.

My invitation for you:

• Stay curious about what your nervous system needs.
• Notice what feels good, bad, or neutral for you; what experiences you crave, and what you prefer to avoid.
• Use your observations to build self-care practices that work for you.

Your nervous system is telling you something important. How is it to listen & follow its lead?

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Talk soon,

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P.S. If you're feeling overwhelmed & burnt out, and need help taking care of your nervous system, I'd love to support you. I offer ​Nervous System Healing Intensives​ — three 90-minute sessions, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, IFS, EMDR) that go deeper than talk therapy & help you feel better, sooner.

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Intensives are a type of short-term, accelerated therapy — for folks who are looking for something different than weekly therapy; who need longer than 50-min sessions to go deep & get to the root of the issue.

👉🏽 If you want to get an Intensive on the books, click here to book an intro call.

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I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.

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