If I had to explain “nervous system co-regulation” in simple terms, I’d say it’s the experience of two or more nervous systems talking to each other & synchronizing to the same rhythm.

Whereas self-regulation refers to things you can do alone to take care of your nervous system (like meditating, going on a walk, engaging in a hobby), co-regulation refers to things you can do in the presence of others.

>> Instead of meditating alone, you might meditate in a group.

>> Instead of going on a solo walk, you might go on a group hike.

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There’s no hierarchy – self-regulation isn’t better than co-regulation, or vice versa. They’re complementary. We learn to self-regulate through safe experiences of co-regulation.

In Western mental health, there’s a lot of emphasis on self — self-care, self-regulation, self-sufficiency. It’s helpful to have self-regulation skills, of course, since co-regulation isn’t always available. But I also want to validate that co-regulation is important & valuable, too.

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Co-regulation can look so many different ways.

Some of my recent experiences have looked like…

🧶 knitting with a friend while watching comedy shows

🎨 attending an art workshop on Zoom

📲 body-doubling with a friend on FaceTime to get stuff done (I cooked a meal while she worked on emails, and bouncing off each other’s energy made these tasks feel fun & doable)

🐈‍⬛ cuddling with my cat & feeling the vibration of their purrs

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Your experiences might look different, based on your unique nervous system wiring.

In my examples, I want to emphasize that co-regulation doesn’t always mean human-to-human contact, and it doesn’t always have to be in-person.

We can co-regulate with humans, animas, and the earth.

We can co-regulate across space & time zones.

We can be creative in how we attend to our needs.

What do your needs look like today?

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To taking care of ourselves,

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P.S. If you're overwhelmed & burnt out, but too busy for weekly therapy, I'd love to support you. I offer ​Nervous System Healing Intensives​ — three 90-minute sessions, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, IFS, EMDR) that go deeper than talk therapy & help you feel better, sooner.

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Intensives are a type of short-term, accelerated therapy — for folks who prefer a hyper-focused approach to healing; who need longer than 50-min sessions to warm up & process deeply. Our three 90-minute sessions are scheduled across 1-2 weeks.

👉🏽 If you want to get an Intensive on the books, click here to book an intro call.

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I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.

💗 Need a nervous system reset? —> Join me for a Calm Place meditation.
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