๐๐ฝ Subscribe for thoughtful, bite-sized emails โ from Liz Zhou, a neurodivergent therapist โ on how to take care of your nervous system & understand your brain.
Giving & receiving care ๐ป
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Have you heard of the 5 love languages? The idea is that each person gives & receives love in different ways โ through quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, or acts of service. When used in the context of romantic relationships, love languages might explain why you like receiving flowers from your partner (gifts), while your partner loves planning date nights (quality time). ๐ Lately, Iโve been wondering how the love languages might apply to community-building โ the relationships we have with neighbors, friends, acquaintances, and other community members. โ How do we take care of ourselves & each other in these times? How do we build community & participate fully in our lives, without burning out? โ These questions have come up in many conversations this year โ so I gathered ideas into a blog post: the 5 love languages of building community. Which examples resonate with you? โ LOVE LANGUAGE: QUALITY TIME ๐ซถ๐ฝ Attend or host community gatherings. Gatherings can range from: a board game night at your friendโs house; a crafternoon that you co-host with the libraryโs events department; or a book club that meets on Zoom once a month. โ LOVE LANGUAGE: GIFTS ๐ Shop local as much as possible. Circulate money within your community rather than handing it to corporations. Plus, youโll get to know the people who grow your food, or hand-craft your soap & candles with care. โ LOVE LANGUAGE: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION ๐ Thank someone for being in your life. Reach out to someone you care about (friend, family member, acquaintance, mentor, elder, neighbor of 10 years). Let them know youโre thinking of them & what you appreciate about them. You donโt need a specific โreasonโ to be reaching out. Sincere, spontaneous connection is a beautiful way to build community. โ LOVE LANGUAGE: PHYSICAL TOUCH, AKA COLLECTIVE PRESENCE ๐ง๐ฝโโ๏ธ Spend time in the safe / neutral presence of others (without the pressure to keep up a conversation). This might look like: hanging out at the library & co-regulating through shared stillness; engaging in a group meditation or prayer; or watching your dogs play together at the park. โ LOVE LANGUAGE: ACTS OF SERVICE / SOLIDARITY ๐ฆ Use your skills & gifts to support people in your community. If youโre a kitchen witch: you could cook soup for your neighbor who is recovering from surgery. If you love spreadsheets: you could help with the admin side of mutual aid projects. If youโre multilingual: you could translate flyers for a local grassroots organization, or help a neighbor navigate an appointment at the immigration court. The possibilities are endless, because we all have gifts to share. โ As you reflect on the 5 love languages, I invite you to consider your capacity right now. >> What aligns with your current energy levels? I also invite you to reflect on the experience of both giving and receiving care. After all, none of us are meant to only give, pouring endlessly from an empty cup. We are meant to care for each other, and to be cared for. โ Hereโs the full blog post, if you want to reference it later, or share with a friend whoโs also exploring these questions: โ
โ โ With care, โ P.S. If you're overwhelmed & burnt out, but too busy for weekly therapy, I'd love to support you. I offer โNervous System Healing Intensivesโ โ three 90-minute sessions, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, IFS, EMDR) that go deeper than talk therapy & help you feel better, sooner. โ
โ Intensives are a type of short-term, accelerated therapy โ for folks who prefer a hyper-focused approach to healing; who need longer than 50-min sessions to warm up & process deeply. Our three 90-minute sessions are scheduled across 1-2 weeks. ๐๐ฝ If you want to get an Intensive on the books, click here to book an intro call. โ P.P.S. Know someone who needs to hear this? Forward it along. New readers can subscribe โHEREโ. I help highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves. ๐ Need a nervous system reset? โ> Join me for a Calm Place meditation.
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โLiz's Neurodivergent Letters
๐๐ฝ Subscribe for thoughtful, bite-sized emails โ from Liz Zhou, a neurodivergent therapist โ on how to take care of your nervous system & understand your brain.
If someone were to ask you, โhow are you, really?โโฆ what would you honest answer be right now? In times like these, when the world & current events seem to move faster than the human nervous system was designed to process, I feel grateful to know my โparts.โ So, my honest response to โhow are you, really?โ would not be a short answer โ itโd be an answer that acknowledges all of my parts. We all have parts, working inside of our nervous systems, helping us to navigate life in whatever way...
How does your brain like to process information? By reading words on a page? Skimming a screen? Talking it out in a live conversation? Watching videos? Looking at images? ๐ Listening to podcasts? While moving your body, or while sitting still? Our brains process information in so many different ways โ visually, auditorily, kinesthetically, verbally, non-verbally, sub-consciously, consciouslyโฆ and more. ๐ง If you happen to be an auditory processor, you might enjoy this new resource that Iโve...
I recently joined a pottery class, as a way to unwind, be creative, meet new people, and learn a fun new skill. ๐บ 2 weeks & 1 clay-splattered shirt laterโฆ and I want to share some (neurodivergent) observations. *** My art teacher uses a lot of verbal instructions โ put your hand there, put your other hand here, position your body this way. The challenge? My brain struggles to process verbal instructions. I have a much easier time with slow, experiential, and visual learning. Whether your...